Halloween Ain't What It Used to Be

I read a study in the Wall Street Journal saying that people will spend more money on Halloween ($6 Billion) than on all the elections across the county next week. Thank goodness the country's priorities are still right.

As a kid, I found it hard to distinguish whether I was more excited for Christmas or Halloween. Today there is no more fun surrounding Halloween. Unfortunately parents today have spoiled all of the little kid's fun. Adults in my neighborhood fret about real-life goblins (i.e., kidnappers and child molesters) hiding in the shadows of poorly lit homes and streets.

When I was young, my friends and I would plot out our trick-or-treating strategy weeks in advance, with about the level of precision that Eisenhower put into the D-Day invasion. My mom was shocked at the mound of candy that I would bring home, and would say that we were able to hit more houses in a 3 1/2 hour evening than four mailmen could in a full days work. Yes, we were the FedEx of trick-or-treating.

We would go to such lengths as to know which houses gave what and would have slightly different modified versions of our costumes, so we could hit the same fruitful house more than once. Also, we did not waste our time with the houses that gave out penny candy or fruit. As men of action, we did not have time for such diversions. Our goal was candy...and loads of it.

Also, don't worry about the health issues of your kids eating too much candy. By the second week of November we were so sick of Snickers bars and Skittles that we couldn't stand to eat another thing.

So parents, put your fears of the bogeyman aside, stop cleaving to your kids and let them rule the streets one night a year. After all on the eve of an Obama Presidency, we have bigger things to worry about.